tomatoes

all of my tomatoes are ripe--I have picked at least 40 and there are around 30 more to be picked. what to do....

salsa, tomato sauce, marinara--the choices are endless

tonight I am trying a new marinara sauce from giada de laurentiis

I love to cook and have ZERO time

I WILL make the time for myself--my goal for this year

sadie loves to dress herself and does a pretty good job of matching her clothes. she loves anything sparkly, pink, dora, and "beautiful". today she wanted to wear tights because it was a little cooler today. she wore her "old"tights and not her new school ones though.

money

money always seems to be an issue in dan and my relationship--there is either not enough or when you have it--there is always issues about where it should go.
soon, we will be entering the time of the year where dan's sales slow way down. Winter time last year we thought we might lose our house because money was so tight.
god knows I can spend money with the best of them
when we have cash in our pockets it is gone in no time
I just want to be responsible and i get tired of coming off as a nagging wife
recently we have been selling a few thing here and there on craigslist--we sold some bar stools and dan sold some tires today
I happened to ask dan what his plans for the money was?
was i nagging? do i really need to ask that?
I guess i just want him to have a plan --if he would have just said--honey don't worry about it
there is always going to be issues and i am just thankful dan and I are at the point where we can talk about them.

new additions

we have 2 additions to the family--I found two guinea pigs on craigslist yesterday--ruby and belle..they came with a cage, two igloos, food, hay, litter and they are soooo sweet.

ruby is 1 1/2 mos and belle is about 6 mos. I am learning about them and will update as we go along.

saggy bottom drawers

Laken doesn't even care when his diaper his down to his ankles.

It is going to take a long time to potty train this little guy.

we have been consistently in diapers since september of 2004 when sadie was born. going on 4 years of pampers, luvs, huggies.

hard to believe

smart cycle

sadie loves her smart cycle--a christmas present from last year. education and a work out!!

she loves when we watch her too--now it is place in the middle of the living room --laken is fascinated when she plays--there are about 10 different games you can buy--dora, diego, thomas the train, barbie, elmo..

one of the best toys I've bought in a long time

still blooming--I love this color red..

look, I grew a three year old--amazing what miracle grow can do these days

laken

it is so hard to take a good picture of laken--especially one where he isn't crying. his hair has lightened up quite a bit this summer--I've had so many people say they love his hair color and that it looks like we color it or highlight it. I love his smile--he looks a lot like his sister.

a hot summer august day calls for push ups

ninja

my sweet kawasaki ninja--I don't look very biker like but I love it...

laptops

I have a dell laptop--it is on its way out. the screen doesn't stay up--it falls back about everytime i use it. it is kinda slow and big to haul around. I can't complain--it is a computer and a decent one no less. My husband gave it to me when he upgraded for work. he works from home and counts on his computer for all of his work.
we are still paying on his computer and my new camera--maybe someday I will have an apple mac but until then (I am hoping dh will read this post and feel sorry for me)....
what are the shelf life on laptops anyway?? 3 or 4 years?
beep beep--this ones time is ticking down....

classic sadie--riding her bike in a princess dress--with a big bandaid on her leg--(she fell off her scooter earlier while wearing the same princess dress.

sadie and her "best friend" kaylee down the street. Kaylee is 4 almost 5 and sadie worships the ground she walks on

mommy

I hear the word mommy seven zillion times a day
laken and sadie fight for my attention 24/7--mommy this, mommy that
"mommy watch me" is laken's most used expression of the year
isn't it magical when your child says mommy for the first time? you want to record that day, hour and minute when your child decides that it is time to declare his knowledge of who you are.

it is not so magical at this point. I am bombarded with mommy so often these days my head spins. I want to feel it to feel special again like the first time they say the word mommy but let me tell you if i hear the word mommy one more time my head may just spin around in poltergeist.

my husband

reasons I love my husband

1) he makes me belly laugh
2) his family is number one in his life
3) he will do anything for his friends
4) he can find any item i've misplaced
5) he supports me no matter what
6) he is passionate about what and who he loves
7) he can clean a house almost as well as my mom
8) he can fix anything
9) he has no romantic bone in his body
10) he makes me whole

grapes

there is nothing like biting into the perfect grape--crisp and sweet--I found some today and CANT stop eating them......

mommy pics

my friend michelle came over for dinner tonight and to remind me what it is to talk to another adult--I asked her to take a few pics of the kids and I. this photo cracks me up--poor laken

napless

Laken hasn't been napping at the babysitters

that makes for quite an emotional evening

Everything makes him cry--If I am not sitting the right way in the chair, if sadie's foot touches any part of him, and especially if he falls backwards off a table into the shrubs

experimenting

planning ahead

being a single mom sucks

even if it is only for 6 days
I had to wake laken up this morning--he is not a morning toddler
he usually sleeps in until 9 or after. and it felt like i basically pushed the kids out the door and i was still 10 minutes late to work
now i am thinking about dinner--I didn't think ahead and defrost any meat or put anything in the crockpot--I totally spaced on the dinner thing..
so now I will have to pick up two starving kids and play it by ear.
I have got to be a better planner--it just doesn't seem to be in my personality
planning the meals at least would cut down on half my stress..

night

Since Gemma and Brecken left Sadie has been sleeping in Gemma's room. I think she likes how light it is in the room ( gemma has a lamp in the corner that i turn on). anyway she always figures out a reason to come downstairs at least 2 or 3 times.
mommy do you know where my lip stuff is
mommy will you come sleep with me?
I am thirsty
I have to pee--even tho there is a bathroom upstairs right by the bedroom
my legs hurts---and the list goes on and on and on
and she always happens to come down when there is a scary or gruesome scene on tv ( i am watching Heroes season 1)
she doesn't seem tired at all either--I hear her little feet pitter pattering upstairs all over the place...it's exhuasting sometimes

kids

an attempt of a group picture of the kids--you don't realize how hard it is to take one of all four of them until you try.....laken is not big into smiling for the camera.

sad

my heart is heavy. I drove Gemma and Brecken back to Bend on Sunday. they are going to spend the last two weeks of summer with their dad and get ready for school to start. our family is only half a family when they are not here. I want to be selfish and have them all of the time but they need their dad in their life just as much as me.
I miss brecken's smile and the way he asks me to wake him up before i leave for work even though he knows he will already be up.
I miss gemma's presence, her patience with the little kids, her late night ice cream binges
I despise living so far away from them
I want to roll in a ball and cry my eyes out from missing them so much but I have a 2 and 3 year old who need me just as much.

firemen

http://www.mailtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080816/NEWS/808160310

what an amazing group of men who tragically died fighting fires
god bless you

sunset

we have had beautiful sunsets lately with the smoke in the air....gorgeous--wish i could capture it better

sam

sam has been missing now since a few days after we returned from las vegas in may. he was an amazing cat but tended to wander and not come home for days at a time. i still get tears in my eyes when i see pictures of him. I am a huge cat lover and sam was like my baby. i hope he has found a new home....

photos

I think my favorite pictures to take are of anything having to do with nature (second to taking pics of my kiddos). I would love to just travel around and discover beauty everywhere with my camera lens. I know one day i will have the opportunity. I really wish i knew how to use my camera better--dan bought it for me about 6 mos ago and i need to take a class to learn what every button, setting, ect does. hmm that will be number one in my new crossitoff.list book. thanks rnt!!!

date night

I had a "date" tonight with brecken. I want to have do these more often with each child to connect and share special time. brecken and i went to see the new george lucas movie Clone Wars. First we stopped at target to pick up necessities--a king sized kitkat and raisinets for mommy. we then loaded up on popcorn, pop, and a slushie for brecken at the refreshment counter. what more could a 7 year old want?
the movie was really good--mixing humor in with a pretty good storyline for a animated version of star wars. brecken had a good time--and even said right before bed it was the best movie ever.
thank you brecken for being my date tonight--i love you

bubbles

laken loves bubbles but he is unable to blow any and eventually dumps the container over and spills all the bubbles out--thanks goodness bubbles are so cheap!! doesn't it seem like my kids are always naked??

ouch

I have a new "flipper" courtesy of the dentist i went to last week. it is a retainer with a fake tooth to fill in the space of the baby tooth that was pulled.
it's been uncomfortable ever since I first started wearing it--now i have a freakin blister in my mouth from it rubbing!
i paid 200 dollars to have this thing cause me continual pain--I don't think so
now i have to make time to go back in sometime this week---aghhhh

swimming

my kids love swimming 24/7 if they could. we went to a local pool with a water slide---

sometimes i feel like an emotional zombie.. I have been on Paxil--an antianxiety medication for at least 6 years now and truly feel that without it I wouldn't be able to function in my life that i lead. on the other hand it has numbed my emotions in a way. I really don't feel extreme emotions anymore--that means anger, happiness, sadness, excitement.....
it just doesn't seem fair to need a medication but have such crappy side effects.

I used to be the kind of girl that cried her eyes out at any given moment---the highs and lows-ups and downs i don't miss but give me happiness, love, excitement, wonder, hope, surprise, pride, and desire and day.

alas my husband says my bitchiness emotion still works fine

wait!!

laken trying to keep up with sadie in his trike....never going to happen

looking good honey

men

dan came home from camping friday night through sunday. he took the camera with him--i told him --take lots of pictures. seriously he took 10 pictures of a birds nest. 6 or 7 pictures of a deer--that are too dark to see and a couple pics of the kids....hmmphh

no mo training wheels

sadie learned to ride her bike with no training wheels this past weekend. grandma literally took three steps with her before she said I got it grandma and after that she was gone...she is only 3!!! my big girl....

aquaphor

I have an obsession with aquaphor--the ointment from eucerin. the clinic that i work at gets little tubes of samples to give out to patients. I have them everywhere--in my car, in my bathroom, in all of my drawers--I put it on my lips mostly but is is perfect for dry or cracked skin also. I LOVE IT
my husband doesn't understand my obsession--he gets really back cracked skin on the bottom of his feet in the summertime--i think from wearing sandals?? maybe he should try my aquaphor and then he would be a true believer.

brecken

brecken is such a sweetheart--sometimes he gets forgotten because he doesn't demand the attention like my other kids do. he is a quiet, sensitive little man and i need to remember to spend one on one time with him doing the things he likes to do.....

camping minus me and gem

dan left this morning with brecken, sadie, and laken in tow and a yukon stocked full of camping supplies--holy cow!! I don't think Laken knows what he is in for--or dan for that matter:) they are going camping at the wickiup reservoir--approximately 40 miles sw of bend. dan's mom and stepdad arrived there on wednesday in their fifth wheel. dan will be tent camping with the kids.. I didn't go because I was scheduled to work today--and i couldn't get out of it.
a part of me feels guilty that i am not there helping out, spending quality time with the kids, roughing it...
on the other hand---big sigh--no responsibility--except for gemma
sleeping in, going to a movie--and being able to watch it, eating at a restaurant in peace, garage saling, shopping--all these things are highly possible this weekend.
the weekend of gemma and i
kinda like the summer of george on seinfeld
I hope dan takes lots of pictures

feeding my fam

I can't keep food in my house. between my kids and my teenage babysitter and her friends....they went through 8 cans of coke in 1 day.--mainly b(my babysitter) and her friends drank the pop, one loaf of bread, one log of cookie dough, peanut butter, jelly....I guess we didn't specify to b--that she can't feed her friends while she babysits.
today dan hid the soda--hee hee
sometimes i think it would be cheaper to eat out--a lot of restaurants have the kids eat free
it is really expensive to feed 4 kids--especially if you want them to eat fruits and veggies. as they get older it is only going to get worse--time for some serious menus, budgeting, and trying to be frugal--my only question is--how do i have time to get the best bargains and clip coupons?--I am a convenience shopper--one stop..
more on this later...

bugs???

sadie and brecken looking for ants to catch with their bug catcher they got from sonic. laken trying to hold his diaper up

the moon

i love the moon--it's so beautiful and mystical and takes so many shapes and colors--now if only i could use my camera to it's fullest potential and take a good picture of it.....

me

I have too much going on in my life...work, kids, trying to take home classes for nursing, pampered chef, possibly cookie lee
i need to shave my legs and paint my toenails
I need to pluck my eyebrows and my chin hair
the house is messy--and here i sit writing in my blog
this is my outlet--how can i deny myself one stress reliever?
my tooth hurts and when i took out my flippin "flipper" for the first time today it tore off the scab for my baby tooth. I can't eat very well with it in so i've been drinking a lot....ie. martinis, wine, rum and cokes....liquid meals
i haven't been following through very well with my promises to the kids either--simple things like making brownies, reading brecken a book..
i have to do better

http://www.longwaydown.com/
amazing documentary with ewen macgregor and charlie boorman--they travel on their motorcycles from london to scotland to cape town, south africa--what an amazing journey--anyway dan and I saw the only showing they had here in medford. the places they got to see--the egyptian pyramids, the people they met in africa--what an opportunity!!

laken and balls

laken is obsessed with balls
and throwing
and throwing balls
basically his favorite game is throwing anything--toys, food, diapers, clothes which i guess is a pretty inexpensive hobby.
I am definitely going to put this kid in softball, baseball, t-ball when he gets a little older.
maybe i will just get him a ball for christmas--wouldn't life be simpler if all of the kids only had 3 toys. laken would have a ball, a bat, and a box--i think he would be very content.
makes me think back to little house on the prairie when laura ingalls wilder was thrilled with an orange in her stocking.--and maybe a doll made of wood by mr. edwards.
kids are way too spoiled these days--including mine

blackberries

we have a creek that runs in the very back of our property. we really don't go near it very often --due to the fear of laken and sadie venturing back there on their own. on a recent walk i saw hundreds of blackberry bushes with super juicy succulent looking--ready to be picked blackberries. of course the biggest and darkest ones are 8-10 feet down the bank near the water. I put on my pants and tennis shoes and crawled down the bank into the creek--what a peaceful haven. I could have picked blackberries all day. gemma joined me and we filled a large bowl in less then an hour. two dogs also happened into the creek and one of them wasn't very friendly--started growling and barking at us--gemma was pretty scared--poor thing--she started shaking. i made a yummy blackberry cobbler with vanilla ice cream--i don't think there's anything like it..

sadie's many expressions

dentist

I abhor going to the dentist--probaly because by the time i go there is always something majorly wrong. I took sadie to the dentist on tuesday--she had three cavities and needed some work done. well that same day my tooth started hurting--what are the odds?
i haven't been to a dentist--in at least 3 years maybe 4. i know i know--kind of irresponsible of me. but i truly cringe when i take one of my kids to the dentist--the smell, the sounds....I had a lot of dental work done when i was younger and a horrible abscessed tooth at about 23.
so when i went to the dentist on tuesday they found that i have 2 baby teeth on the bottom--twins--one on each side. one was decayed down to the nerve. so i need one extraction, one crown, a root canal, and eventually another extraction, an implant, and a "flipper"--a fake tooth with a retainer. 2700 dollars worth of dental work--wth?? and our dental insurance sucks!! 1000 dollars a calendar year. i know i should be grateful we even have insurance....it just really hits hard right now.
one of our tires on our gmc yukon cracked and we had to buy new tires and wheels..
anyway--my dental work will just have to be done in a few phases so we can save up the money. my first phase is this tuesday--my first dental extraction--at least they have iv sedation==whoo hoo.