mama mia

mom, gemma, and I went to see mamma mia last night. I grew up listening to abba and loved the movie--(mainly due to the music). anyway--how wonderful to have three generations of women together enjoying a movie. it's these moments i want to remember and cherish. totally off topic but pierce brosnan looked kind of freaky when he sang. what's up with that?

my mom

I love my mom dearly--she is wonderful- seriously but sometimes....and mom if you are reading you know what i am talking about. she constantly is reminding me of things i know to do or already do--like today--"make sure you keep your eyes on the kids while they are crossing the street" or "make sure you lock the car with all this stuff in here"--ahhhhhh--i know she is not trying to belittle me-she is just being my mom but i wish she would just give me a little credit. i have managed to get this far without killing any of my kids..

parks

we are so lucky to have so many nice parks within a few minutes drive from us. the one we went to yesterday is a water park and a playground--the water park is geared towards bigger kids with large amounts of water spraying everywhere. brecken and laken had a blast--running through the water--just getting soaked to the bone. i thought laken would be a little intimidated with all of the water--but no way!! gemma couldn't be bothered. sadie just wanted to play at the park beside the water. we stayed so long i had to run to arbys to get lunch--i wasn't prepared like the super efficient moms around me who had packed lunches. right after lunch an art trailer drove up and brought a bouncy house to jump in and a craft for the kids to make--i thought SCORE!!!

911

saturday night when it was just laken, sadie, and i at home--I had this unwarranted irrational thought--what if something happened to me? what if i had a heart attack, fell down the stairs, or just collapsed? it could happen right? anyway--I felt like i should educate sadie on 911. she didn't understand the concept and kept asking--"are you going to get sick tonight mommy?"
she also asked if laken could help her with the numbers on the telephone..
I finally told her she should just go next door and get help from a neighbor if anything should happen to mommy. "otay mommy" was her reply

he actually posed

laken hates when i take pictures of him--usually he wants something from me and mom whips out the camera and tells him to smile or pose. normally he just gets pissed--today was the first day he actually looked into the camera and smiled. my little boy is growing up!! it's not potty training but it's something..

random

laken was pushing gemma on his trike--he loved it

my mom is here for a week. she came in at midnight last night. the first thing she started doing this morning bright and early is cleaning. she told me i needed a brady bunch "alice"--hee hee--i thought isn't that what dan is?? brecken and gemma haven't seen her in a while. Laken was a little apprehensive of her at first but before long had grandma changing his dirty diaper--Lucky her.

my mom and i--brecken took his first picture with my camera--he wanted to take more --but we passed:)

my gemma

it's hard not to favor one child over another at times. gemma is my firstborn--she is 11 going on 22. I rely on her a lot to help me with sadie and laken. she is mature beyond her years and sometimes i forget how old she really is.--she is still a kid. she loves hannah montana, high school musical, wearing her heelys, listening to her ipod, and surfing on the net. I am so proud of gemma. she taught me how to be a mommy and that will never change.

ninja

my absolute favorite leisure activity at this point in my life is taking a motorcycle ride. riding behind dan down the road --the freedom and happiness i feel is blissful. it also makes me feel sexy and dangerous--like i am angelina jolie in tomb raider...anyway

during one of dan's recent business trips to the coast--he traded some samples he had for a motorcycle for me--a 250 ninja. isn't it beautiful?

I started riding it around the block a few time and now i am hooked. I got my permit and am going to take a safety course in october. watch out roads--here i come..

family

I want to be a normal family. I want to have my big kids on a more regular basis. I don't want to have to explain to one more person that gemma and brecken don't live with me or go to school in medford--seeing that look of judgement in their eyes--wondering why they don't live with their mom. I hate not living in the same town as them. I want to volunteer in their schools, pick them up from school like i used to do, not have to drive 3 hours to see them. I am so frustrated. our house is worth less then what we bought it for. I just want to give up--be done with the house, the city..... and move back to bend where we belong.
unfortunately i am responsible and have obligations here--my precious little ones need me. i have a really good job, and a beautiful house--it is just in the wrong city.
dan can never understand how i truly feel. they are not his children--i love how he treats them as his own but every minute of every day there is a void in my life that he will never truly know.
I have gemma and brecken starting tomorrow for three weeks and am already dreading when that 3 weeks is over....

what are they up to?

my haircut

ewww i hate looking at pics of myself--this is my haircut--I got about 3-4 inches off and some major layers. I love the length--can't still put it in ponytails and up. i might go shorter next time. I was so tired of my long tangly mophead.

beauty

the sunset was beautiful tonight or moreso the sun was so orange and perfect in the sky. I am using my camera more and more these days as a kind of stress therapy--I carry it wherever I go and try to capture as much as I can. I went on a walk tonight and brought my camera with me. It was kind of awkward strapped around my neck as i tried to get my heart rate up but I am happy with the results

finally

daycare is always a struggle. Just recently my husband went to take sadie and laken to our daycare providers house--he rang the doorbell--no answer. it turns out she didn't answer the door because she was sleeping--wth?
so needless to say we started at a new provider yesterday. lisa is a single mom that has decided to stay home with her 3 year old son. she has a masters in education. sadie actually went to preschool with her son last year. she is awesome--she does school in the morning and then nap and finally interactive play in the afternoon--not one iota of tv. Sadie will be going back to sonshine preschool in the fall and laken will go there when he is potty trained but until then--yippee on my new find!!

haircut night

I had my hair done tonight--a partial weave and about 3-4 inches off. the bliss of having 2 hours to leaf through entertainment magazines while being made "pretty" in the process.. ahhhh
I wanted to get a new, exciting hairstyle--so my husband wouldn't recognize me but alas it always scares me to think of short hair --I have had long hair as long as I can remember. I did take a small step and had it cut to right below my shoulders.
when i got home sadie said mommy i love your hair--I want to get a haircut just like yours.

nudies

We had a couple over for dinner last night--they brought their adorable one year old little girl savannah. this child is so freakin cute with the largest thighs i have ever seen. she loves to be naked so she fit right in with my kids

and she loved the cats

S A D I E

Sadie learned to spell her name over the past week. my little girl will be 4 in september and is becoming quite a smarty pants

down with diapers

I have had a child in diapers or been potty training one of my 4 kids for the past eleven years. gemma was 3 when brecken was born. brecken was 3 when sadie was born....and sadie was 20 mos when laken was born. I am tired.. tired of buying diaper, pull ups, wipes--tired of it being on the standard grocery list every time we go shopping. the stock we should have bought in luvs, pampers, huggies.....
unfortunately the end is nowhere in sight. Laken has no interest in the toilet--and whizzed in the yard earlier tonight while he was running around naked. sadie is back into wearing pullups at night.
i might be in diapers myself before the kids are out of them:o

Stryker--the best cat in the entire world......otherwise known as guillermo nicknamed by my sis. dan calls him my latin lover--he always seeks me out and then will sit and lick me for hours on end. I am a huge cat person and will no doubt be called the cat lady at some point when i am old and have cats as my companions.....

sadie

my 3 year old sadie's three favorite things

1) swimming

2) being naked

3) swimming naked

guinea pigs

I went to a friends house today with sadie and laken to go swimming. Her children have 2 adorable guinea pigs. I think i may have found the perfect pet--they're super cute and cuddly, they make this cute little noise to communicate--

they don't run away when you put them down, and they can live up to 9 years!!! hmmm.. i wonder why everyone doesn't have a guinea pig?

perfect job

My hubby has the perfect job. He works from home, sells motorcycle, dirt bike, watersport parts--hobbies he is passionate about, and actually works hard 2-3 days a week. tomorrow he had planned to make a trip to the oregon coast--usually leaves at 5 am and get home around 6. most of the day is spent driving so it is rather grueling. His friend just called and told him there is a golf tournament tomorrow and one of the four scheduled to play cancelled on them. so, what do you think my husband is doing tomorrow. golfing of course:)

hamming it up

my garden

My amazing hubby made me planter boxes this year for my vegetables. I absolutely love having fresh tomatoes, herbs, onions...the weather has been so hot lately the plants are flourishing!!

siblings

sadie and laken are 20 months apart and inseparable. wherever sadie is laken is. he calls gemma and brecken sadie. often you can hear "Where are you Sadie?" echoing through the house. he is heartbroken when she is gone and will look for her every minute of the day she is not around. how sweet is the bond of brothers and sisters. Long after dan and i are gone they will have each other.

sprinklers

106 degrees in medford, oregon--

dan and i took sadie and laken to a park with sprinklers of various sizes that sprayed cold cold water --the kids were in heaven.

driving

I spend a lot of time driving--going to bend to pick up gemma and brecken, dropping them off....yesterday I drove from portland to medford--about 300 miles. I absolutely love the time to myself, the quietness and peacefulness I feel on the road listening to my music. I rolled the windows down and felt the warm air in my face and hair. I think a lot on these trips--about my time with gem and breck and how i will miss every minute i am away from them the next two weeks. Normally, I don't stop--not to pee or eat or anything but I did stop about halfway in my trip to snap some pictures of the beautiful surroundings

trip to portland

I just got back from a short but incredible trip to portland, oregon with gemma and brecken. I had a dual purpose for the trip--1) to take gemma to see the american idol concert 2) to meet up with robin and brenda.

It was so cute to watch gemma and her stepsister getting ready for the concert--they wanted to wear the "perfect" outfit and fix their hair.

I was able to go to dinner with Robin, Brenda, Simone, and Preston. we went to a yummy mexican cafe call chez jose--preston and simone were soo cute together. simone is such a friendly little girl--she wanted gemma and brecken to hold her hand while crossing the street. she has quite the vocabulary also--wow!!

It was so nice to finally meet Brenda--with her sweet little baby belly. we only got to hang out for 30 minutes but how nice to have another friend only 4 hours away!!

me, brenda, and robin

the concert was awesome--and my heart just melted watching gemma and kaydrie dance, scream, and clap through the whole event. As the lights came on at the end of the concert--gemma said "that was awesome mom". It made me feel so good that i could provide this opportunity for her--she is such a blessing.